Top Four Horror Movie Icons
Last year, around this time, I came up with a promotion called 30 Days of Horror to promote my visual novel, The Rave (currently available on itch.io). Unfortunately, Tumblr decided to ban my blog (fuck nuggets!), so I had to port the whole thing over to a new web host, and unfortunately, I probably won’t have a chance to republish all those old posts until next year. Yeah, it sucks.
Any way, with Halloween season upon us, I’ve decided to resurrect the best of those posts from the virtual dead and share them here with my Medium maniacs. And what better way to start than with the four greatest icons in horror movie lore? I call ’em The Four Horsemen of Death.
4. Pinhead
He is: Head Cenobite In Charge
What he does: Suffer fools who open the box with his sinister brand of pleasure and pain (mostly pain, though).
Favorite quote: “WE HAVE ETERNITY, TO KNOW YOUR FLESH!”
Why he rocks: A philosophical master of word play and a freak who’ll “tear you apart” between the sheets, Pinhead is easily the poster boy of the Hellraiser franchise … even though he isn’t necessarily its primary antagonist. Home slice is only limited by his hellish imagination, so kill for kill, I’d take him in a one-on-one hack fest against any horror movie heavyweight.
3. Michael Myers
He is: The Shape
What he does: Get all pissy about his family every Halloween.
Favorite quote: “Hi, I’m Michael Myers.” (Rob Zombie 🤭)
Why he rocks: When it comes to horror movie icons, Mike Myers is the godfather … hands down! He is the embodiment of pure evil who inspired countless genre copycats and spooked generations of viewers. No matter how convoluted the lore may have gotten over the years, Mr. Meyers personally never failed to disappoint with his remarkable stealth mode and no-nonsense approach to managing Haddonfield’s population control program.
2. Jason Voorhees
He is: Mommy’s Little Boy
What he does: Camp out at Crystal Lake with S’mores and a vengeance .
Favorite quote: “Kill her Mommy!” 😉
Why he rocks: While Halloween came first, not even ole Mikey can compare to the sheer brutality Jason brings to the table. Since taking the baton from Moms in Friday the 13th Part Two, Crystal Lake’s most well known resident has continued to bring the pain by racking up the biggest kill count in horror movie history. Sure, quality is suspect in some of the Friday flicks, but not even a slim budget or a piss-poor script ever stopped Jason from leaving a terrifying impression.
- Freddy Krueger
He is: Elm Street’s worst nightmare
What he does: Give bitches wet dreams.
Favorite quote: “If the food don’t kill ya, the service will.”
Why he rocks: I may be too cool to be scared these days, but no matter how old or cold I get, the concept of Freddy Krueger will always be uber fucking terrifying. After all, sleep is our most vulnerable state. Anyone can just walk up and take you out the game and you literally would never see it coming. This sense of vulnerability crosses over into the dream world, where we are at the mercy of whatever horrors our twisted minds conjure up. I can’t count the times where I could actually feel myself, trying to wake myself from tragic dreams, and the terror I experienced while failing to do so. Add a sick bastard like Freddy to that helplessness, and the thought can still freak me out to this day.
Like any horror franchise with more than a handful of sequels, A Nightmare on Elm Street has certainly seen its ups and downs. However, every last entry is oodles of fun (except that dull ass remake) … all thanks to the stylin’ and pedophilin’, slicin’ and dicin’, throat slashin’, young bitch smashin’, crispy and original, Frederick Charles Krueger. Seriously. This dude is the Nature Boy Ric Flair of horror movie icons, with just as many quotable lines.
“Welcome to my world, bitch!”
Extra ish: Dig this post? Check out my video highlighting the most underrated horror movie villains. Hearing me talk is its own kind of terror. You’ve been warned!
Contel Bradford is a mystical and complex individual. You can attempt to unravel some of the mystery by visiting his author site at countkrewpublications.com.
