Somewhere out there is a paranoid kratomite ⸺ albeit with good intentions, thinking along the lines of “this is why it’s gonna get banned!” Because painting it as anything other than a gentle coffee alternative is devil talk. Settle down, Karen. I love kratom. It’s great. And safe. But I’m not a sugar coater, either. I believe the best path to kratom education is through the whole truth. The good, bad, and ugly included. Now let’s talk the “wobbles”.
What are Kratom Wobbles?
Once upon a time, my interpretation of the wobbles was much different than everyone else’s. I initially thought it described that feeling you get when your eyes kinda vibrate … or wobble, I guess. Sort of like a kanna effect, but less intense. In this context, it may be coupled with a sense of calm and inner peace. Back then I’m thinking, “What’s the problem? This is the tits!” However, I soon learned that the so-called wobbles is something much scarier.
The most common symptom of kratom wobbles is this weird, uncontrolled eye movement. Simply put, your eyes get all wonky, which leads to blurred vision and crappy depth perception. This is often combined with a touch of wooziness and head spinning reminiscent of being a little too tipsy.
What’s more, your body literally feels wobbly, particularly in the legs, thus making walking a challenge. These side effects are associated with nystagmus, a medical condition triggered by central nervous system disorders as well as alcohol and opioid abuse. It’s a very shitty feeling to say the least, and one I’ve experienced firsthand. Long story.
What Causes Kratom Wobbles?
Kratom wobbles are typically the result of simply going too hard. And it’s a fairly easy mistake to make. Perhaps you’re trying out a strain you’re intimately familiar with, yet procured from a new vendor. Not knowing that it’s stronger than what you’re accustom to, you measure out your usual dose, slam it down and then BAM! You’re feeling like you just took a hook from Mike Tyson and didn’t even see it coming.
How to Avoid the Kratom Wobbles
The silver lining in all this is that the wobbles are relatively easy to avoid. I believe it’s as simple as dosing responsibly. What does that mean? Well, instead of eyeballing it or guestimating with a teaspoon, weigh your dose on a functional scale. It’s also wise to approach any new strain with caution. Even the same strain can be significantly stronger from one batch to the next. Remember, you can always take more to get where you need be. What you can’t do is take back those extra grams that put you in the trouble zone.
So what if you’re the thick-headed, or unlucky kratomite who winds up with an annoying case of the wobbles? Well there are a few remedies, activated charcoal, among them. But in my honest and most humble opinion, the best thing you can do is be patient and wait it out. Yeah it sucks, but you’re not in any real danger, so why fuck around with unproven solutions that might only make the shit worse? Take a chill pill (figuratively, man!), lay down, sleep it off, if need be, and in about an hour or so, you’ll be back at baseline.
Trust the Process. Respect the Game
Once you hit your sweet spot and get a few notches of experience under your belt, it’s easy to forget just how powerful kratom can be. The wobbles is a stern reminder of the fact. A wise dude once said, “respect your body and what you put in it, and they’ll both treat you right.”