Bullying: Personal History, Problems, and Solutions
You know you’re getting old when you start a conversation like …
Back in my day, bullying could teeter on absolutely terrifying. If kids weren’t shoving you against lockers or tripping you as you ran by, they were literally kicking your ass. Or trying to, at least. You ended up knowing the layout of the whole neighborhood just by taking alternate routes home from school, all in an effort to avoid getting in some shit. SMH.
Bullying was very real. Stressful, even. You know, in that way where as a kid, everything happening is the biggest event in life. Beyond that, the threat of bullying was largely physical.
Now getting made fun of, you know, verbally … well that was a thing, too. In fact, that was a common occurrence among friends. And trust me when I say, no one roasted you harder than your friends. Of course there were boundaries you couldn’t cross without a friendly flaming session boiling over into fisticuffs, but shit was highly personal. And it was fun. Especially as we got older and really honed our baking skills.
My point is that after being ridiculed by friends (and family), hearing unsavory jokes or insults from non-friends was a non-deal. It was like, “Whatever. I’ve heard worse. Sticks and stones, nigga!”
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
As we all know, bullying is a HUGE deal today. Call it an epidemic, steeped in hotlines, awareness campaigns, and endless conversations. Like, I get it, but from what I can tell, the game has changed. These days, bullying is largely verbal, rooted in jokes and venomous shit talking. Maybe it’s snickering when the nerd with the bad acne walks by. Or spreading rumors about the not-so-popular girl.
Now I’m not saying that kinda stuff can’t be harmful. After all, words are powerful. However, I am amazed at the impact this all has on both kids and parents alike. To the point where it’s not uncommon for Little Timmy to be stressed and depressed on Xanax, his personal afflictions rooted in a couple kids at school calling him Poopy Face Tomato Nose. Some silly shit. It was mean, he was sad, and his parents just didn’t know what else to do.
Fists of Flames
I’m certainly NOT claiming to have the magical silver bullet that stops bullying dead in its tracks. I mean, it’s been around for generations. That said, I think taking away the power we’ve given it can prove extremely effective in the fight.
Let’s be real, peeps … we’ve built bullying up as this ghastly, unstoppable Freddy Krueger we just can’t seem to put to bed. An evil force that follows us into adulthood, still terrorizing us as we encounter insensitive grownups in the workplace and online. So why not neutralize it like any other boogeyman?
In my moderately humble opinion, the anti-bully elixir must be brewed and consumed at home. We have to start teaching our kids to stand up for themselves. Both verbally and yes, if absolutely necessary, physically. “But, but, Little Timmy’s not a fighter!” Well, he ain’t a punching bag either, but he may continue to be one unless he starts showing some sack and letting trouble makers know he’s not the one to be tampered with. Those physical lashings can leave behind psychological scars over time.
Step up. Step in. Stop acting helpless. Leaving the well being of our kids in the hands of school officials. Stop allowing our kids to be harassed, or harass others. Take this shit straight to the source … the other parents!
A lot of bullies are only Johnny Badass in front of their friends; the enablers who encourage them to be douche bags for giggles and shits. Get ’em alone, and they start singing an entirely different tune. “See, what had happened was …”
Ironically, we ended up befriending some of the very kids who bullied us in school. They had no choice but to respect us after realizing we were no longer scared and just done taking their shit. At the end of the day, bullies are just little assholes who don’t know better. I mean, of course they know it’s wrong, but few understand the magnitude of the impact they can have on their tormented peers. After all, they’re only human. Not monsters. Way past time to strip away that omnipotent aura of horror.
Contel Bradford is a mystical and complex individual. You can attempt to unravel some of the mystery by visiting his author site at countkrewpublications.com.
