7 Real Reasons Women Are Crazy
I generally get along fairly well with the adult females. I actually prefer to fraternize with them over males, and not even on a sexual level. They’re just more … tolerable … among many things. As such, for whatever reason, they often feel comfortable confiding in me about every thing under the blazing sun.
So why am I able to connect with women? I’d say it’s because I understand them. I know what makes them tick. Beyond that, I know why they’re crazy. And trust me, they are crazy. Every single one. Don’t believe me? Well check this out!
- They’re Always in Demand
Since middle school, err — since they had boobs — women have had to juggle the gift and the curse of attracting the male species like pigs to good slop. All is well and dandy when they’re the recipient of love letters, free drinks, flowers, and generous tips. The game gets a lot more complex when they’re ready to love and be loved. After all, it can be difficult to distinguish the guy who genuinely likes you for the funny, sweet and smart person you are, from the sleaze ball who simply wants to slurp your pudding pop. This conundrum leads to major trust issues and fuels the crazy fire that burns deep within every woman — whether they’re taken or on the market.
2. They’re Stacked
Sure, those mountainous melons and juicy round butt look visually pleasing to the eye, but dudes … can you imagine having to haul all that around? Well females have to manage this unenviable task on a daily basis, and the more you got, the greater the struggle. It’s a bitch, and leads into the next insane factor …
3. “HAS” is Real
“Don’t get your panties in a bunch!”. This phrase must’ve been coined by a man because all women know what an unstoppable force the wedgie truly is. I’ve studied this subject extensively and learned that women are locked in a fierce and ongoing battle with Hungry Ass Syndrome (HAS) as gravity causes their bum to suck up everything in its path. Look over there at the chick in yoga class. Dig the girl with the visible panty lines at the checkout counter … if she’s got back, bet your bottom dollar that her undies are twisted ten ways to Sunday in her crack. Just having to de-wedge over 200 times a day is enough to drive any chick crazy.
I ain’t complaining. I’m just saying.
4. They’re Empaths by Default …
Girls think babies are cute when they really look like miniature old people. They find animals adorable when they look like what aliens probably look like in real life. They wanna have babies. They wanna get married. They think friends are essential. They like cheesy romantic comedies and reality shows. They worry about their asses being fat when it has already been established that a “phat” ass is a good thing. SMH. This odd behavior can only be chocked up to one thing: emotions. Women are madly emotional. And it’s one of the biggest reasons they’re crazy as all hell.
5. And They’re Natural Haters
Photo by Nick Bondarev from Pexels
The great Jerry “The King” Lawler once said that all women secretly hate each other. Now while that statement is probably as ridiculous as this entire article, there is some truth to it. The typical gal hates 50 to 70% of the women at her job and thinks negatively of other women she meets — sometimes before she even meets them. Women are even disrespectful to their friends like it’s nothing. “What’s up bitch? I missed you!”. “Pass the salt, skeezer.”. “I swear you’re a cunt nugget, but I love you guurl.”. Yeah, they may be cool and harbor genuine love for each other, but at the core, there is deep-rooted animosity they couldn’t shake loose if they wanted to.
6. They’re Out For $elf
We are all self-centered to a degree, but women take the cake — I mean literally. Like they can eat the whole cake and you’ll be lucky to even get a sliver. Whether it’s food or those stops along their personal “candy” shop, women are incredibly stingy and have to constantly be reminded on the virtue of sharing. Because if you’re not on your game, you won’t get no cake or no candy. Damn.
7. That’s How They’re Set Up
Women bleed. They drop rock-headed humans weighing ten pounds or more out of their hot pockets. Then they eventually stop bleeding and break out into hot flashes for no reason other than being wired all weird and screwy. This kinda stuff speaks for itself, so I shall say no more.
Conclusion
Shenanigans aside, I have the utmost respect for women and all the maddening things they have to put up with on a regular basis — things I can’t even imagine dealing with for an hour or two. From maintaining the entire household to managing the ohh so frail male ego, it’s a chore they don’t get nearly enough credit for. No wonder they’re crazy.
(I’m just playing ladies. You know I love you!)
Contel Bradford is a mystical and complex individual. You can attempt to unravel some of the mystery by visiting his author site at countkrewpublications.com.
